Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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