Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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