Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
