i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
