Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
