she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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