found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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