my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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