We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
