its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
