who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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