I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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