I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
