Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
