i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
