ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
