I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
