check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
