He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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