This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
