College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
