Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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