If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This is the prime rib incident all over again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
