physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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