I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
