Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
