she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
