omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
