You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
