you turned your livingroom into a bong?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
