I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
