ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize