I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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