I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize