Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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