whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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