Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
