the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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