I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
how does that bad decision feel?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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