i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
