She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
