cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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