Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
