i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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