ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
