From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
