Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
