shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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