The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
