i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
