Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
