Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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