apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
