I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
