i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
