dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
