You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
