You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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