Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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