you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Girls should come with a carfax report
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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