Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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