ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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