we have pet lesbian snakes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The air was thick with penises
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
