you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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