I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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