Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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