wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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